Forgive and Forget
by evilestguyever
Summary: It's been a couple of months. A couple of months since he last heard her voice, her laughter. A couple of months since he saved the world. Since he moved in with Tifa. A couple of months and he still can't forget. Still can't forgive. He can't. He won't.


**Evilestguyever: Don't own anything yet. Oh, I should tell you that the italicized parts that are not in quotations are Cloud's thoughts, and that the italicized parts in quotations are what Aerith says. Forgive me for that. I didn't want what she said to be… solid, you know? I wanted to show that her voice wasn't exactly tangible, like something you hear in a dream. I also wanted to help separate Cloud's thoughts, and using bold just didn't feel right. Let me know if you have any ideas, because I can get how reading it might be confusing. **

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**Forgive and Forget**

A lone blond stood in the room. His hair defied gravity, sticking up in every possible direction. He was dressed in his usual asymmetrical black outfit. His left sleeve was longer than his right, his left shoulder pad sported a silver wolf while his right was unadorned, and his right glove was longer than his left. He walked around the room, trailing his fingers over every surface, trying to imprint it into memory. _I'm not coming back. _He memorized every last scratch, every last grain, of the rough wooden desk. The smooth glossy coldness of the mirror. The countless bumps on the otherwise unmarred white walls. The soft down of the pillow. The tension of the springs in the mattress. _I'm going to miss this place. _He closed his eyes, listening, breathing. The sounds of chatter coming from outside the open window, of people bustling about, of people rebuilding their lives. People who were unaware of their hero's pain. Of his suffering. Of his sadness. Of his guilt. Of his love. His undying love for a certain flower maiden. He took a deep breath. The smell of sweat, gasoline, oil, and grease. He opened his eyes again, taking in the sight of the small cramped room that he has come to know as a home in the last few months. _Wai- _

"Aerith?" For a second, just for a second, he saw a flash of pink in the mirror. _There's nobody else here. _"Of course there's nobody else here. What was I thinking?" A breeze tickled his ear, carrying with it the familiar sound of a certain girl's bright laughter, and the smell of flowers.

"_Silly…_" He whirled around. _Aerith? Where are you? Aerith? _

"Are you here?"

"_Maybe I am, maybe I'm not,_" she teased. _She's here. She's actually here. God, it feels so good to hear your voice. It's been so long._

"Aerith? I – _What should I say? What should I tell her? There's so much I want to say. So much I should have said. _Aerith, I- I miss you. I miss you so damn much. I know that I don't have that right, that I caused your death, but I – I can't help it. I miss you so much it hurts. Aerith, there's so much I want to tell you. So much I should have said. So much I need to apologize for. Aerith, I – I -" he choked up, swallowing back his emotions. "Aerith, I -"

"_I know, Cloud, I know. I know. I have so much to tell you too, so much that I didn't say, but now is not the time. Cloud, I don't blame you. You need to know that. You need to know that I don't blame you. I never blamed you. Cloud," _a warm breeze caressed his cheek, "_you have to forgive yourself. You have to let go. Let go of all the darkness. Cloud, you have friends here. Friends that look out for you. Don't leave them all behind. Forgive yourself Cloud, I have…" _her voice trailed off, the wind died down. _Aerith? Aerith! Don't go! Don't leave! Please, stay! God, don't go! Aerith! I didn't even get to tell you! Aerith! Why? Why'd you have to leave? Aerith? _He closed his eyes, a single tear trailing down his cheek, his hands fisted at his sides, his jaw clenched, his brow furrowed in pain. His inner turmoil threatened to drive him crazy. His heart was tearing in two, his thoughts scattered, the darkness gnawed at him. At length, he relaxed; a picture of serenity. He opened his eyes again, looking skyward. _Aerith, I don't know if you can hear me, but I love you. I love you. I love you Aerith, and I'm sorry that I didn't get to tell you. That's why. That's why I can't forgive and forget. I'm sorry Aerith. I can't. I just can't._ He walked over to the bed, picked up his bag, and stepped out the door, never to be seen again.


End file.
